Even the Ancient Greeks Laughed at Funerals

Levity doesn’t negate the gravity of situations, it allows us to bear the unbearable and find common ground in shared laughter.

“So our mom died a little over a year ago and these are some of the things that we’d like to confess to her, that have happened since she died:

We didn’t know that we had to file your taxes.

I didn’t know that I needed to get my own insurance [...] I drove an uninsured car for seven months, and then, it suspended your license plate and mine. We know you had your license plate for years, so RIP to AZK, whatever the numbers were, and to you, mom.”

I watched this video a few times since it first landed on my feed. There’s something so wholesome, yet so counterintuitive about it. Two sisters laughing uproariously in the wake of their beloved mother's passing is not typically what society deems appropriate. 

To an outsider, their laughter might seem misplaced or even disrespectful. However, this laughter signifies not a lack of seriousness but an intimate understanding of just how complex and seemingly oxymoronic our emotions are. And it's a testament to the enduring power of humor to help us navigate life's most challenging moments.

It makes me wonder why we feel so skeptical and uncomfortable towards laughter in times of sorrow or crisis?

Why is it so hard for us to accept that humor and seriousness can coexist?

Especially since it’s not always been this way…

In many ancient civilizations, humor was celebrated and integral to social life. For example, the ancient Greeks produced comedies that poked fun at societal norms, politics, and prominent figures. However, with the rise of certain philosophical and religious ideologies, the perception of humor began to shift.

Humor started being associated with frivolity, sin, or distraction from spiritual matters. This perspective was not universal but had a significant impact on European cultures, leading to a preference for seriousness in matters of morality and governance.

The 17th century brought about the enlightenment period - a time that emphasized reason, individualism, and skepticism towards traditional authorities, including the Crown and the Church. This era saw a resurgence of humor, satire, and irony, with philosophers like Voltaire using wit to criticize established power structures and norms. However, even within this context, the idea persisted that certain subjects are serious and therefore must only be talked about seriously.

And here we are today, a time in which the dichotomy between humor and “seriousness” continues to be influenced by cultural norms, social contexts, and individual preferences.

The 20th and 21st centuries have seen a significant democratization of humor through mass media, the internet, and memes upon memes upon memes. This has led to a broader acceptance and appreciation of humor as a tool for commentary, coping, and connection. (There are multiple peer-reviewed journal articles that looked at how people used memes to cope with the pandemic.)

However, the bias towards seriousness in certain domains, like politics, academia, and business remain. 

Just yesterday I was working with a group of leaders at a healthcare company on how to use humor to foster a sense of belonging among their teams and in their company culture. When I asked the question, “what are some of the dangers of using humor,” the second most popular answer was “people may not take you seriously.”

This wasn’t unique to this group of leaders. In nearly every program we lead, “being taken seriously” comes up as one of the reasons people don’t use more humor in the work.

It seems that we have conflated being “professional” with being “somber.” 

I would argue that if what you are working on is important (or even, “serious”) then it would behoove you to use every tool at your disposal (like the word “behoove”) to do it effectively. And, surprise, surprise, humor turns out to be one of the most effective tools we have for engaging with other humans.

When you look at how we humans actually behave, the common concern that humor might undermine authority, dilute the significance of important matters, or offend sensibilities, doesn’t hold up. 

The true power of humor lies in its ability to offer perspective, foster resilience, and connect us across divides. Levity doesn’t negate the gravity of situations but serves as a coping mechanism, allowing us to bear the unbearable and find common ground in shared laughter.

The laughter of those two sisters in the face of loss is a reminder of humor's place in our lives, especially in times of need. Far from detracting from the seriousness of their situation, their laughter honors the richness of their emotions and the depth of their love. 

It's time we embrace humor not as the opposite of seriousness but as its most enduring partner in navigating the complexities of life (like filing taxes and getting car insurance).

PS. We’re still looking to celebrate those people who bring more humor to your life. Nominate someone to the humor awards before the deadline closes on Wednesday, April 21st.