It's My Wife's Birthday...

And I still don't have a gift yet. Help?

I have to apologize right at the start. I mentioned last week I’d be doing a deep dive into some of the results of the survey I sent out, but there’s something a bit more pressing I have to get to. BUT I will share a few insights at the end of this email if you’re interested (look for the ***).

December 20th is a very important day in my life. No, not because it’s *quick google search* National Sangria Day. It’s because today is Pretzel’s (my wife) birthday. Had she not been born some odd years ago, my life would look very different right now and certainly for the worst.

Not only is Pretzel an incredible mother to our daughter, an amazing partner to me, a rockstar at the UN, and a huge source of material for me (including the viral clip I shared about her last week that now has over 2.6 million views)... Pretzel is also a fantastic gift giver.

And that’s a problem.

You see, she is on the lookout all year round for what to give people. She takes into account their interests, needs, secret desires they didn’t know they had, and how they’re going to feel opening the gift. Gifts are clearly one of her love languages (along with healthy criticisms…).

I, on the other hand, am about as talented at giving gifts as I am at ordering things on Amazon. Meaning I’m efficient but somewhat soulless about it. Also I am usually buying said gifts on Amazon because of the two day shipping and I wait until the last minute.

In fact, I’m guessing she probably already knows what she’s going to do for my birthday in February, whereas I’m still figuring out what I’m doing for hers as I write this.

So I could use your help. (I know, I know, I just asked for it two weeks ago!)

First, what’s been your favorite gift you’ve received from a loved one? Preferably one that I could manifest in, say, less than 12 hours…

Second, if you’ve been following me for awhile, do you have a favorite Pretzel moment or any words you’d like to share with her (like how much you know I love her)?

I should note that she does read this newsletter, so hi, Mi Amor! I swear this is just a bit… I totally have a present for you and you’re going to love it…

***

Now, for those of you interested in the results of the survey and what they mean for me, this newsletter, Humor That Works, the state of world affairs, and intergalactic peace… I’m still figuring that out. But a more things I’ve learned from parsing through the results:

1. 59% of you stay on the newsletter because “I’m just a fan of what you do.” The other 41% might hate the personal nature of this email.

2. A handful of you specifically called out that you enjoy my stories about Pretzel, so here you go :).

3. There’s a bit of fear that this newsletter is going away or I’m only going to do things that I charge money for.

Regarding #3, have no fear. This weekly newsletter is continuing in 2025 (it’s one of my favorite things I do each week) exactly as is: a mix of professional advice, clear tactics, humorous updates, and a look behind-the-scenes of what’s going on in my world. I will also continue to provide different resources for no charge to try to help as many people as possible.

What will change is that we’ll build out some very specific solutions to some very specific problems and then charge a fraction of the value we expect to generate in return to people who want to accelerate their results.

I’m still figuring out what exactly that will look like, but you already know I’ll be sharing more details about that here…

But in the meantime, I have to figure out a gift that says, “I love you so much, please don’t take my incredibly last-minute search for a present as some type of signal that I feel any different, you just know I’m bad at procrastinating and I have been kinda sick lately and I think Mercury might be in retrograde and, and, and…”

(an)drew

PS. This is the last chance to take the survey that will shape what we focus on in 2025.